Beginnings of Fall...

Girls, Hearts, Horses, and Fathers (a break from the routine of usual posts)

Image from: http://snowflakesandheartbeats.tumblr.com/
I was watching a movie that recently came out about a young girl, her father, horses, and a dream. Questions filled my mind as I watched, and listened for what God was speaking to my own heart.

What is it that touched me so when I saw this young girl being told by her father how much he loved her, would protect her, and was proud of her? Why, when she was told by everyone else to go one way, she listened to her heart and went another, why does this rock me to my core? What is it that makes my heart yearn to be out in the wilderness, and to experience that something...that something that is wild and untamed in the heart of our country...that somehow a horse holds the secret to?

There is something within the heart of us as women...something that we carry within as little girls, that never leaves as we grow with time. Something fierce, determined, a desire to fulfill that purpose that is destined for us, a role no one else can fill. This longing...to be free...that influences our hearts to love...and to be loved.

There is still something within me that yearns for this love, freedom, and adventure. All women, at some point I'm sure, recognize this within themselves. As little girls, we intuitively know...but somehow, as we grow up, so many of us loose that foresight. That integral knowing in our hearts...what we were made for, that we are loved, that it's ok to dream, and that we need our fathers.

I know in my heart, that I long for these things. I think sometimes that I may have been cheated, that I missed something...that without them, I can't truly understand who I am or where I am going. But then....then I am reminded. I am reminded that God is the ultimate Father, and He gives me this love, everyday. Every. Day. Often I don't see it. Still, I must choose to see. God is always the answer, because He Himself is love.


As to the other things...I can't explain why I've always loved horses, or prayed since I was a little girl to have one of my own. :-) But I realize, regardless, that there is something that speaks of the beauty of God in the wilderness, and in the wildness of a horse. A beauty, which I know is also inside myself, if I would allow Jesus to show it to me.

And so...as we all know, life is an adventure itself. But to live that adventure, to really live it, needs more. More of ourselves given. Given in love. I pray I will continue this journey. To know more...and to learn what is in the heart of God that speaks to my own heart. He is there. He is waiting with open arms. I must only approach the throne of His Heart as a little girl to her Father...and then, there is nothing left that I could want.

"Let us go foward in peace..." ~St. Thérèse of Lisieux

It's been quite a long time since I posted something a bit more personal on here. So, here goes...It seems that God has allowed some very trying times in the past few years. Family issues, health, finances...not to mention inward struggles. I know that above all though, Jesus loves me...deeply, with an intensity I can't fully understand. It is upon this reality, that I base my hope, trust, and continue to seek after the will of God.

It is now some years since I began discerning religious life. I still continue to search, trusting God is preparing a place for me, as well as preparing me. I still sense that He is calling me to this. It's difficult to understand oneself, isn't it? I often find myself confused when trying to figure out how God is working in my soul. But I know He is working. Often, looking back on my life, I see His marvelous plan, and the good He performs. I trust that, years from now, I will look back upon this time, and see the same.

St. Thérèse the Little Flower said once,

"If I did not simply suffer from one moment to another, it would be impossible for me to be patient; but I look only at the present moment, forget the past; and I take good care not to forestall the future. When we yield to discouragement or despair, it is usually because we give too much thought to the past and to the future."

And so I strive after this too. To keep my peace in the doing the will of God in the present moment, bearing all I suffer as the Cross of Christ. Offering all to Him. And loving Jesus with all that I am, as I receive His Love each day within my heart.

"Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer." ~Psalm 61:1

For all of you readers out there, first, I pray God has blessed you and keeps you close in His heart. 

I have a request for all of you. I would like to ask for your prayers. I am in great need of employment. I have been out of work for three months. Please say a quick Hail Mary or Our Father for me, and ask St. Joseph to pray for me too. 

If any of you ever have any prayer requests, I would love to pray for you! Please let me know. Leave a comment on here or on my prayer requests page.

God's Peace to you.



"For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope..."
~Jeremiah 29:11

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
~Isaiah 40:31

"Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer."
~Romans 12:12

"And He told them a parable, to the effect that they ought always to pray and not lose heart."
~Luke 18:1

"Ask, and it will be given you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him?"
~Matthew 7:7-11

Mercy: Refreshed in God's Love

"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end; They are new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21-23)

"His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning..." This bears repeating. How often do we wake up in the morning, thanking God for a new day? A new day? That is one of the things which mystifies me. How each day, in His infinite Mercy, God grants the gift of a fresh sunrise, and a chance to start anew. 

Today was one of those days where I got caught up in the circumstances of life, feeling as though I was stuck in a rut...with no way out, and not worthy of getting up again. As I was mulling over the events of the day..thinking, "I should have done this, I could have done that...why did I have to do that?" when God interrupted me. "I forgive you." I stopped short. What was that Lord? "You are my child, I forgive you. I died for you to wash away your sin. I love you. Start again." Whoa. Amidst my utter astonishment at my lack of trust, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace, love, and gratitude for this grace.

I think sometimes we tend to forget how real God's mercy is. Perhaps the message of the Cross becomes desensitized to our hearts, and we take for granted what a gift Jesus has purchased, for us. The mercy of God is never stagnant, old, or incapable of touching our hearts in a new way. As the psalmist says, His mercies, "are new every morning." That should give us great hope and encouragement. The God of all, who loves us infinitely, still calls out to us. He is always ready to forgive, refresh, and help us get back up again; when we turn to Him with all our heart.

*Author's note: God's Mercy is most explicitly displayed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. There He waits with open arms to forgive, and bestow graces to strengthen us. If you are Catholic and have been away from the Church, it's a great place to come and be renewed. Pray about it. For more information on the Sacrament of Reconciliation, go here.

Tested in the Fire: How God Grows our Hearts

"Behold I have refined you...I have tried you in the furnace of affliction." (Isaiah 48:10)

It is certainly true that the Lord tests and refines those He loves. At each point I've come to the threshold, the breaking point where I will surely perish, and then, "wham!" I am pushed further. I realize how shallow and frail my faith is at these times...when the circumstances of my life seem to shatter all I once knew. But I am not without hope, not yet.

The Lord has not left me alone. In showing me how weak I am, Jesus reveals how powerful His grace is if I am willing to receive it. As the Lord reveals to St. Paul: "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) The key though, is allowing the Lord to do so. Much of this lies in surrender and accepting the cross; a daily struggle for me.

When I look at the lives of the saints though, I can only be encouraged. How much they suffered! Lives fraught with pain, uncertainty, and tremendous obstacles...but they were able to persevere. In the end they triumphed because they knew what awaited them. The Lord has already won, taking on all of human suffering to open the door to Heaven for His Beloved.

I see that I must seek God's love through the cross...and not miss this opportunity to show my Love for Him while I yet have the chance. Jesus died for me. What I am suffering, is but a small trial...and through it, Jesus is growing my heart. No other way to salvation exists but the way of the Cross. And so I will press on! I will fight the good fight and not grow weary. The Lord is my strength.

"...now for a little while you may have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold, which though perishable is tested by fire, may redound to praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Peter 1:7)

"I see that God never tries us beyond what we are able to suffer. Oh I fear nothing; if God sends such great suffering to a soul. He upholds it with an even greater grace, although we are not aware of it. One act of trust at such moments gives greater glory to God than whole hours passed in prayer filled with consolations." (St. Faustina, Diary [78])

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters; He restores my soul...Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff, they comfort me....surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever." (Psalm 23)

When God Speaks....

"In the silence of the Heart,
 God speaks"
~Blessed Mother Teresa

I've often seen the workings of God in my daily life...lately, it seems as though my spiritual life has been somewhat stagnant. Never a good thing. I know without a doubt, the fault is mine. More than anything else, it seems as though I have forgotten the importance of silence. If I know God is speaking, why can I not hear Him? Because I have ceased to listen.

When you sincerely wait, seeking His voice, Jesus will not disappoint. "Whoever seeks shall find. Whoever knocks, the door will be opened," as He said. It takes practice, to be sure; that is why the more you come before Him, seeking in silence, the easier it will be to hear Him.

There are many ways to practice silence, and truly listen to be attuned to God's voice...but onne of the best is in Eucharistic Adoration. Since the Eucharist is truly Jesus, Body, Blood, Soul, & Divinity, what better way to hear Him than when you can be directly in His presence?

Many Catholics, sadly, either do not know He is really there, or do not believe in His real Presence. I'm here to tell you, HE IS REALLY THERE. It is Jesus who longs for us in the closed off churches of the world, waiting to be loved. It is Jesus present on the altar during mass, Him who we meet in Adoration, and He who we receive at Holy Communion. This profound mystery at it's heart cannot fully be known, but revealed in faith and trust into the depths of the heart of the believer.

I had a profound experience of this today at Daily Mass; another great place to experience silence and listen to God. I came to Mass tired physically, and somewhat spiritually exhausted. However, God used this to His advantage, since all my defenses were down, my heart was more open.

Most of the Mass I was attentive, but when it came time and I received Him in the Eucharist, His Body and Blood, God awakened my heart anew. Interiorly, I felt as though I had somehow come to an intense, deep, newfound realization that Jesus had just come within me; and it was all I could do to hold back tears. When and how God chooses to reveal Himself to us, often baffles me. But there I knelt, aware in a completely new way of the closeness of Jesus, and that He was truly ALL I WANTED, AND ALL I NEEDED. Period. That was it. For that moment in time, I was drawn into the mystery, and absolute LOVE, of Jesus in the Eucharist.

Though I have been raised a Catholic, it was years before I finally found out that the Eucharist was not just a symbol, but truly Christ. Since then, Jesus has made this truth known in my heart, and I have often had experiences of the Presence of Jesus during Adoration, but never as much in receiving Him. It is difficult to describe the inner peace and joy that Jesus blessed me with today.

Above all, I want to continue to know Him more. To love Him more, and know more deeply of His love. I am willing to wait for Him, in that profound silence of Love within my Heart, when God speaks.

I challenge you, how will you hear God speak? And, will you Listen?


*Click HERE for more information about the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist.

Musings...

There is a sheer brutality, a truth, that speaks of the realness of being human. What is a soul? Where and how do we find one another in the paths our lives take? When one soul touches another, how does that speak of God? How can we be more human, and so come to see the reality of our souls? For as the soul is created, so also is the body. What does it mean, to BE?

Out of darkness....comes light....So how can we begin to rise, without first falling? Out of suffering, comes compassion, and a deeper insight into the reality of what it means to BE Human.

Christ was not only our Savior and Lord, but in great humility, was also explicitly the most HUMAN. How did Jesus, being fully human, aside from being fully God, live what we call the "human condition?" There is much we do not know...but what we do, is that He suffered, but also rejoiced! How do we come to live in the example He left?

Where does time stop, and Heaven begin? Or rather does time enfold into the reality of Heaven we could not understand? If our Lord created Heaven AND Earth, are they not therefore connected through our Creator?

Why do we love? How do we persevere in Love? Do we understand Who is Love? What is at the heart of a person when you look into the window of their soul, and how do you begin to see yourself in their place?

All I know, is that Jesus loves me, and I Him. There is something about the realness of being human, yes. But also, something that is more real than can be explained....in the connection of our hearts, to God.

Easter Joy - Peace that Overcomes

It's so hard sometimes not to let one's emotions get the best of you. As I've come through a rather difficult Lenten Season...the questions continue to arise...What am I doing? Where am I going? What is Your will Lord? Why am I going through this? What is to become of me? These questions lay heavy on my heart...and can be difficult to shake.

Often, I find myself looking to the future, perhaps too much so. I have a hard time living in the present moment, and yet, I know that I must continue to seek God's will. Finding that balance, is particularly difficult. Not only that, but then facing temptations right and left, and feeling very much alone in my search....it is only by God's grace, I know very well, and HIS LOVE, that I am able to continue.

However, I know that amidst all that is happening, especially in when I am undergoing trial, that it is then when I must flee to Jesus's heart. Because it is only there, ONLY THERE, that I know I am wholly loved, safe, and can find true peace.

I continue to pray much, always asking the Blessed Mother to watch over me. I know very well her prayers have helped sustain me through our Lord. I've learned that I must choose to trust as well. I must continue to run to Jesus, and simply tell Him, yes, Lord, Your Will Be Done, I Trust in You. And in this, in trusting and finding the sanctuary of Jesus's heart, there is peace, and a joy that cannot be explained. It is a true miracle of Grace.

So much is happening in the world, and will continue to happen. I look at my own life, and realize just how small it is amongst the goings-on in the world!! And yet...the God who orders all things...wishes to Love me...and not only that, but with a Love surpassing all knowledge, time, and human capacity. There is definitely joy in knowing this! What should we not want to do for the sake of Jesus's Love??

I remember this passage..knowing Jesus Himself gives us His Peace:
On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, "Peace be with you." When he had said this, He showed them His hands and His side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you." (John 19-21)

Easter Blessings to all of you, and many heartfelt prayers. Please pray for me!

Rejoice! He is Risen! Alleluia!!!!

Snow, Mary, and following HIM

Ever since I can remember, I've loved the snow. Especially watching it fall outside...there's something peaceful, graceful, and magestic that speaks of the tenderness and gentleness of God through snowfalls.

Being in MI, and there being plentiful snow, I think it's fitting as a fellow Michigander to have a devotion to Our Lady of the Snows. :) The story and devotion goes all the way back to 352 AD, one of the oldest devotions to Our Lady.

With all the beauty of a snowfall coming down outside, Jesus is certainly using the symbolism there in my own life. White, often symbolizing purity, is something that Jesus continues to grow in me, gently, like a snowfall perhaps.

I continue searching for HIM, yet knowing that I am already found by Him. "I love you, and you are Mine," is often a phrase Jesus speaks to my heart; and thus reverberates from Him to all that He loves. I know that my Father in Heaven will show me what He wants of me. Patience is key. I am discerning a particular religious community right now, and through that, will continue to trust.

I've also been reminded and come to a deeper understanding of what it means to be safe in Our Lord's Arms. He so wants us to know that we are safe.

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 43:1b-3a, 41:10)

Sometimes, it is just good to rest in His arms. I am His child.

Our Lady of the Snows, Pray for us!

Christmas JOY

Wow...new job + moving + discerning religious life = no time for blog posts.

A lot has happened since I last wrote. Not only am I excited for the doors God has opened, I feel God says to me, "You haven't seen anything yet." I cannot imagine what Jesus has in store for me, but I know that is full of LOVE. I feel as though I could burst at the seems with joy (partly due to Advent and Christmas coming up!), and I know that there is more to come.

How can one be so full of JOY, and know that this can't even compare to what awaits us for eternity? For, "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him." (1 Corin. 2:9) It is truly incomprehensible.

So, Advent. I feel as though this Christmas is different somehow. I feel more alive and closer to Jesus than ever, and I have continued to pray to understand deeper the spirit and mystery of Christmas and Jesus coming to us as a little child. So far, as previously stated, I have learned of JOY! But there is still much more to take in.

I am headed for a vocational retreat with a wonderful group of Sisters this weekend. I am praying to stay open and quiet in spirit, listening to hear Jesus's voice. Please, all who read this, say a Hail Mary for me, or any prayer. Know that I am praying for all of you.

Much Peace and JOY! to all of you in this beautiful preparation for Christ's coming.
~One in love with Christ

P.S. JOY is contagious. Spread some around!

Flowers Among the Thorns....Love Amid Life's Chaos

It's interesting; life is.

I feel as though lately I've been on a desert whirlwind and I can't quite grasp much of anything. I feel confused at times, and wonder at what God is up to. I think I am going through a dry spell spiritually, while so much is happening on the outside.

Starting a new job, discerning my vocation (I simply am clueless at this point which order of religious sisters God wants me to be a part of), moving, financial worries, family issues, my health...so much that I worry too much about instead of giving it to Him. I must constantly remind myself to surrender everything in trust and love to Jesus, who can handle it all much better than I can. :)

But through all this, Jesus is reminding me how much I truly need Him, for without Him, I am nothing. It is only by His grace and love, that my life draws meaning.

Also, more and more I am seeing the providence of God unfolding in my life. Trusting in that providence however, can be somewhat more difficult. Still, circumstances, I not only believe but have also experienced, are never coincidence. Even if we can't see the plan of God before us, be sure that He does.

Often times, I find myself looking back, (it is one of the only ways to recognize God's plan, in the past) and I see God working amazing things. It baffles my little brain to think that Our Father in Heaven cares that much about just one person to order the universe in such a way! Imagine the planning and work that God must put into that!!!

It's humbling to think my Father would do so much for me! How much more then must he love and care for the whole world! How much Our Father must love us! It is something that I cannot begin to understand, but only trust with in my heart.

Speaking of Love, of the tender love of God...when Jesus fills your heart with greater capacity for love, and you see how gentle and meek is Jesus who loves us....it's inexpressible.

Blessed Mother Teresa says:

"I think that every time we say the Our Father, God looks at His hands, where we are etched. ‘See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands...’ (Isaiah 49:16). What a beautiful description and also expressive of the personal love God feels for each one of us!"

So just remember, whatever is going on in your life, God has a plan. And it is all being worked out by a Father who loves us so much, that he gave up His Son, to die for us. Look at a crucifix if you need reminding. :) For I believe that when we look at Jesus on the Cross, He is saying to us, "I love you this much."

Something Great For God

I realized something today. That I’ve wanted to give myself to something greater since I was little. I just didn’t know what that ‘something’ was.

As a child even, I remember being inspired to do something great. I wanted to give myself over to accomplish a great feat. I felt that I could be a missionary in the most unheard of parts of the world. And if not that, even in looking at careers when I was a bit older, I wanted to do something totally awesome. I felt like I had to go all out, or go home. A philosophy which sometimes is a great thing, but also hinders me in life I’ve realized. But I looked at being an EMT, or working in the emergency room itself, being a policewoman, a firefighter, joining the army, etc. It’s obvious all of these are service oriented careers, and I wanted to do a great service.

Now, I realize, that ‘something’ greater, though I couldn’t see it before, that desire, can be fulfilled by being the spouse of Jesus Christ. It is truly doing something Great, for God. It is more than I could have dreamed for myself, but Jesus has been leading me to it my entire life. And I still seem to have that missionary spirit…I want to travel, to see, to help, to serve the People of God, and in doing bring Jesus to them, and see Jesus in them.

I’ve noticed whenever I’ve gone on a missionary type trip, It’s when I’ve felt the most ALIVE. And I experienced that to even greater lengths when I visited a round of holy religious sisters. That trip awoke in my heart a desire that I didn’t know I had long had. I knew I belonged with a community of women religious. People as devoted to Jesus as I wanted to be. It’s hard to describe, but, it’s like they were made of the same fabric, they ‘fit’ with who I felt God was leading me to. Those who ultimately are in our same vocation, I think, have that effect on us.

Now my task lies in finding that specific community, where I will feel it is home. I keep trusting, praying, and searching, confident that God will light up the darkness ahead of me. Just light enough, so that I can take the next step, but also dark enough that I allow Jesus to take me by the Hand, and lead me while He lights the way.

What clay desires, in the hands of the Potter

"...O Lord, Thou art our Father; we are the clay, and thou art our potter; we are all the work of thy hand." - Isaiah 64:8

What I desire could be considered quite plain, I want to go to Heaven and be with Jesus. And if God wished that to be sooner rather than later, that would be fine by me. Now, I'm not being morbid here, I just love God, and want to be as close to Him as possible, which ultimately is to be with Him in Paradise. But, in terms of life on earth, my desire, is to become a nun.

To some who might read this, the reaction could be something like, "she's nuts," "people don't do that anymore," or "must be some kind of a fanatic." Well, I'll agree to the last possible comment, I certainly am a fanatic, that is, when it comes to Jesus. As far as the second comment, I would refer you to the growing communities of religious sisters that have many young people of the "new millennium" opting for religious life. And as for being nuts, well, I think it's safe to say we're all a little "nuts" in our own way.

When God touches your heart to the extent that you finally come to realize, that nothing, I mean literally NOTHING, will satisfy you besides HIM, and you realize that His Love is really everything... and I suppose since I consider myself in this position, then I have duly gained the title, "fanatic." But it's not a fantasy. Big difference. Because Jesus is real, He is God, and He is also Human.

But what most people have a hard time understanding, is that when God does touch your heart in such a way, at least as it did with me, you cannot help but want to give everything in love back to Jesus; even in giving up your life for Him; which is what the religious life is certainly focused on. For me, I really do feel that I owe everything to God. EVERYTHING, is His. I am very aware that Jesus saved me; and have no reason to comprehend why I feel He is leading me to this kind of life with Him. I can only sum it up in the words of St. Paul,

"For He says to Moses: "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."So it depends not upon man's will or exertion, but upon God's mercy...Who are you, a man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, "why have you made me thus?" Has the potter no right over the clay[?]...as indeed He says in Hose'a..."and her who was not beloved I will call 'my beloved.'"" (Romans 9:15-16, 20-21, 25)

These words give me confidence that God, if in His mercy and goodness is calling me, then He will take care of me and help me to see it through. The hard part is though, once you feel God has set you on a certain path, in my case this one of discerning religious life, it's much more difficult to continue to walk on it. More than one might think. Why should I have thought that this part of discerning would be easy? In fact, it's become the hardest thing I think so far I have ever done.

But, I wouldn't go back for a minute. I have the sure sense that God is leading me, and in His time will show me where He wants me to go. Trusting Him, has often proved my greatest challenge. But I have been learning that there is NO ONE, I should rather put my trust. And to me, what's so amazing is that God allows, and even wishes, me to be His bride! In my opinion, you could never ask for a better husband. :)

I don't know what the future holds, But I rest assured that He does. And in the meantime, I wait, and remember, that I am clay, in the hands of the Potter.

A Poem, and happenings in my life....

I thought today I would post on how things have been going right now in my life. It's really difficult to describe how God is working in me. I feel that He is piling crosses upon me (hence a lot of recent posts concerning the Holy Cross and Jesus' passion). Yet Jesus is ever mindful to give me no more than I can handle.

I was thinking the other day, that truly, what a privilege it is to suffer for Christ. To be like Him, we must also suffer. And I feel that I understand with greater clarity why the Saints rejoiced in their sufferings. Of course, it is not human nature to love suffering, therefore it is certainly a great grace from God. For on our own, we can do nothing. But to suffer for HIM! And to remain close to Him through the suffering...yes...with God's grace, I can say that I am willing to endure my suffering.

And so, I will describe one of the crosses Jesus has allowed I bear. That of unemployment. All summer, I have been searching, trying to find work. You never know how much of a blessing work can be until you don't have it. And the positions I did get interviews for, were given to a better candidate. But I am content. I feel God's grace at work, and I have peace in my heart. Because I know that Jesus will provide. And I am content to wait until He wills that this cross be lifted.

As the Thomas Kempas says,

"When you reach the degree of patience that tribulation is sweet to you and even relished for Christ, then you may trust that all is well with you, for you have found paradise on earth."

I cannot claim to have attained this. But I feel a certain sense of peace, despite what I am going through.

I realize I am not alone in this kind of cross. Many are unemployed, and the numbers seem to continue to grow higher. But, if your in the same boat that I am, just remember, look to Jesus, He will never abandon you, nor forsake you. He truly does have you in the palm of His hand. So take heart. He will help you.

All for the Love of Christ!

P.S. Here is a poem I have written concerning suffering. I have written a longer version, but thought it best to post the 'condensed' one. And if you are reading this, know I am praying for you.

~Christina

Why I Must Suffer

 The drops of blood You lost

On the way to Calvary

 Encompassed the whole world

And yet were shed for me

What were You thinking Jesus,

When You prayed in Gethsemane?

What made your tears fall,

So heavily?

Could it have been,

For sinners?

Someone,

Like me?

The crowd that day

Must have been fierce

When for me

You endured the sneers

You uttered not a word

Accused

 Of What You had not done

Cast a glance of Love

On those, like me,

Who would give you none

You were past exhaustion,

When my sins

Pressed the thorns

Upon Your head

When carrying the wood

You fell thrice

So I would remember

How to follow One crucified

For next, a man

Pounded in the nails.

And God made Man

Became frail

Didn’t they see the purity,

The sorrow,

And the Love,

In Your eyes?

If I had been there,

Hanging by Your side

If I was that man

Would I?

Finally, near the end,

Raising Your eyes to Heaven

You gave up Your spirit with a cry

Then,

The Savior of the World,

I AM WHO AM,

DIED.

Now I remember

Your bitter Passion Lord

But I must recall too

You DEFEATED DEATH,

You ROSE AGAIN

And You promised to return,

SOON

As Jesus rose

So shall I

And those who believe

But I must learn

To follow Him,

On earth

Through Suffering

It is the only way,

Through Calvary,

That Jesus brings us

To Eternity

For me,

He chose to die

And MY SINS

Tore His Heart asunder,

So I come to understand

And begin to remember,

That I am to be

Like my Maker

And that is why,

As His daughter,

Like Him,

I must suffer.

(*note, Poem subject to copyright infringement)

First Post

Wow...can't believe I've never gotten into the official world of "blogging." I suppose it's time. :) I know it's a good way to share what's going on in my life, and maybe even encourage others as well. So, here's a bit about me and what's going on in my life right now.

I am 23, Catholic, and currently looking for a full-time job after graduating from college last December. I have a bachelor's with a major in Spanish, and a minor in Sociology. I am also discerning religious life right now, so if you feel inclined to pray for me, I definitely appreciate it. I'm doing my best to follow Christ each day, and I know that God has amazing plans in my future. :) I can't wait to see what happens.

Much love of Jesus to all who visit here,
Christina